A Gay Holiday Panto

Jack Off the Beanstalk

It’s the holidays once again and time to don our gay apparel. PrideArts, whose rainbow colors are always on display, is especially bright and sparkling this season because of a festive, new American premiere production. This gay holiday panto, performed in the English theatrical tradition, is true to its roots. Here is a familiar, but much-exaggerated, fairy tale that truly stresses the word, “Fairy.”

Written by Tom Whalley, famed British panto actor and playwright, this comic entertainment takes the familiar children’s story of “Jack and the Beanstalk” and retells it for adult LGBT+ audiences. It’s 90-minutes of fun, filled with over-the-top characters, cross-dressing characters, iconic pop songs, lively, well-executed choreography, groan-worthy puns, sexual double entendres, lots of bawdy jokes, gags and a surplus of slapstick comedy. 

Panto humor also features plenty of audience participation. We’re often asked to sing along with the cast, in particular an updated version of “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.” Patrons are directed to shout a racy greeting in unison each time Jack appears on stage. We’re instructed to “Boo” Fleshlight, the villain of the story, whenever he shows up. The lovely Fairy with the magic, lighted dildo wand is greeted by mad applause to welcome her. And when Princess Jill joins the tale, the audience is commanded to whistle, shout and cheer for Her Royal Highness.

The story is loosely based upon the old folk tale about the gullible boy who, due to hard times, is forced to sell his bovine buddy, Fist the Cow. Naturally, he mistakes a container of beans, offered by Fleshlight, for a bag of gold. When the can of Bushes Beans are tossed into the garden, they magically grow into—what else? A penis-shaped beanstalk! Encouraged by his nagging mother, Dame Clapp, Jack climbs the engorged green organ all the way up to the clouds, in order to rescue both Fist the Cow and Princess Jill. Needless to say, the story ends with a rousing production number and everyone lives happily ever after.

Remembered for his stellar performance in PrideArts’ recent musical, “Girlfriends,” Joe Lewis is perfectly cast as Jack. With his contagious smile, he looks like every drawing of the character you’ve ever seen. Joe’s articulate performance is terrific and he’s just as charming and charismatic as the role demands. The fact that the youthful actor is a magnificent singer/dancer, only adds to his performance perfection and makes the audience fall in love with him even more.

Eustace Allen makes a deliciously saucy Dame Clapp, Jack’s eternally horny mother. Last seen in Artistic Home’s “Modigliani,” this talented character actor seems particularly at home improvising and doing standup comedy. His drag performance is broad and bawdy, absolutely a perfect portrayal of the proper, panto woman. 

Neill Kelly is a dastardly and underhanded as the villain, Fleshlight. Loud and given to wild gestures, Mr. Kelly constantly reappears at unexpected moments to wreak havoc and cause mayhem. The talented actor’s making his PrideArts debut with this role, but will undoubtedly be back in future shows, based upon this exceptional performance.

Lovely Anna Seibert is a knockout as Princess Jill. Graceful and grand, this actress has appeared locally at Metropolis Theater, as well as all around the Detroit area. Not only a gifted actor and a delicate dancer, Ms Seibert has a killer voice. She makes the audience recall the stunning vocal acrobatics employed by such performers as Lady Gaga, Kelly Clarkson and Britney Spears, all rolled into one. After this Chicago debut, I’m sure we’ll be seeing a lot more of this young talented woman.

Another actor with a gorgeous singing voice is Hannah Eisendrath, playing the Fairy. Beautiful, lithe and very funny, Hannah has a voice that truly takes command. Every song she sings is full of lyrical lushness and her comic momentum is nonstop. 

That brings us to the pouting, prancing portrayal of Fist the Cow by Tyler Callahan. This amusing actor milks his character for all its humor. Given very few lines, Mr. Callahan conveys a lot with just his facial expressions and body language. But when this hilarious triple-threat finally opens is mouth in song, we discover he has a vocal range that soars to the heights. After this debut with PrideArts, I look forward to seeing what else this young actor can do.     

Directed with fabulous, raunchy, wild abandon by Bryan McCaffrey, choreographed with spunk by Ariana Cappuccitti and musically directed by Anna Wegener, this production is agog with plenty of well-sung songs, spot-on shimmying, spinning and strutting, and accompaniment from a quartet of talented musicians, tucked off into the corner of the theater.

Vicki Jablonski’s inventive, magical costumes add glittering flair to each character. Fist the Cow may be the thinnest bovine beauty I’ve ever seen, but his costume is hilarious with cow-like detail. Amelia Simonoff has lit the show with bright color and special strobe effects to create much of the show’s magic. But the real standout artist of this production is Brett Baleskie’s unbelievably gorgeous scenic design. This gifted man is a genius with a paintbrush, and his backgrounds, double-sided, cutout flats, all the arches and rafters above—even the floor of the stage—are masterpieces of creation. For an added element of festive fun, we’re asked to count the number of dicks we see in his stage setting. The person who comes closest to the correct amount at intermission is acknowledged at the top of Act II and gets a prize.    

This peppy new production may well become an annual holiday tradition at PrideArts. The raw, risque comedy by Tom Whalley is the sparkling icing on the LGBT+  Christmas cookie. Strictly an adults-only show, this entertaining holiday treat features two acts, chocked full of musical numbers, off-color humor and in-your-face performances by a gifted cast. Don your own gay apparel and come join in the fun!  

Highly Recommended

Reviewed by Colin Douglas

Presented November 28-December 18 by PrideArts, 4139 

N. Broadway, Chicago.

Tickets are available in person at the Pride Arts Center box office or by going to www.pridarts.org.

Additional information about this and other area productions can be found by visiting www.theatreinchicago.com.