Sex in the Leather Archives and Museum

The Golden Girls: The Lost Episodes, Vol. 5 – Hell in a Handbag Theatre

While the pandemic, unfortunately, isn’t completely over, it’s at least being somewhat held at bay. Just observe everyone being required to wear surgical masks and having to show proof of their vaccinations, upon entering the venue. But, what the heck, let’s celebrate the positive: They’re back again! After a two year hiatus, thanks to every theatre in America being closed because of  Covid-19, David Cerda’s live Hell in a Handbag productions have returned. And who better to herald in a new season of kinky confections, but those crowd-pleasing, madcap matrons of mirth and mayhem from Miami—The Golden Girls. 

During the pandemic shutdown Mr. Cerda’s theatre company offered a couple of online productions. While creative and funny, nothing infuses a comedy with life more than a funny script, a talented cast and the chemistry created between actors and audience. It’s essential for humor to succeed because laughter is contagious. And Master playwright David Cerda, God bless him, has written another “Lost Episode,” number 5, in his wildly popular series. This one’s entitled “Sex,” and is fittingly being staged in Chicago’s Rogers Park Leather Archives and Museum. The double feature comedy is another bawdy, over-the-top takeoff, filled with crazy antics, raw language, double entendres and plenty of adult Hell in a Handbag humor. 

The writing credit once again goes to Windy City pop icon and master playwright, David Cerda. There’s one fresh face among the talented cast this time around, as well as new guest director, Madison Smith. She has smartly directed her production to play to each actor’s strength, and has mined every ounce of sassy, erotic humor from the script.  The spacious auditorium provides an abundance of room for Pamela L. Parker’s beautiful, expanded scenic design. And thunderous applause goes to Keith Ryan’s elaborate wig designs and Gregory Graham’s array of gorgeous, period-perfect costumes. From Dorothy’s dowdy, but elegant, substitute teaching togs, to Blanche’s sexy, form-fitting fancies, Graham and Ryan win Handbag’s Project Runway award, hands down. In the end, because of a terrific cast, the result is the same as always: an entertaining, laugh-your-face-off evening of adult hilarity and high jinks.

The format is familiar. Two of the “lost” episodes appear back-to-back in this 90-minute show, which includes a 15-minute intermission. (Sorry: no cocktails are available this time). Act I revolves around acid-tongued, 84-year-old Sicilian Sophia Petrillo’s part-time job at a local pizza parlor. However, we learn early on that Mama isn’t making Italian thin crusts, but is secretly the star performer at Miami’s exclusive sex club, the titular “Pleasure Dome.” Onstage she provocatively dances with the tantalizing Jazzy Jeff, portrayed by hunky newcomer, Max McCune. When Miles escorts Rose, Dorothy and Blanche to this adult venue, the Golden Girls discover Sophia’s true hidden handicraft, much to the audience’s raucous delight.

“Blanche Makes a Deal” with God in episode two. Dorothy’s mamma has experienced a seemingly serious health mishap, resulting in her being rushed to the ER. While in the waiting room, Blanche bargains with the Almighty, promising to give up sex if He will spare Sophia’s life. However, the audience is in on the joke: Sophia had been smoking crack with her devilish best friend, Nancy Drew, played to droll perfection once again by the incomparable Danne W. Taylor. But when Blanche experiences a nightmare, inspired by “Little Shop of Horrors,” the lives of every man in Miami is in danger. One of the funniest scenes in the show features an interlude that’s straight out of “Poltergeist.”  It involves some special effects, a rope, some tennis balls and Blanche’s privates. Needless to say, this scene leaves the audience breathless with laughter.

That bundle of energy, the effervescent Lori Lee, who has fun playing the naughty dominatrix Mistress of Ceremonies of the Pleasure Dome show-within-a-show, also serves as the production’s emcee. She appears at the top of the show to welcome the audience and leading everyone in a spirited singalong of the show’s familiar, “Thank You For Being a Friend.” During scene and following the intermission,  Ms Lee returns to host an audience trivia contest that awards knowledgable patrons with special, “Golden Girl” prizes.

The cast is perfection, naturally. Thankfully, David Cerda is back once again as Dorothy Sbornak, with her towering stature, deep, gravelly baritone and signature deadpan double-takes to the audience. Mr. Cerda is, as always, a treat. Audiences delight in the return of one of Handbag’s finest comic actors, Ed Jones, who brings back his spot-on portrayal of dimwitted Rose Nylund. Jones knows when to flash his signature dazed, wide-eyed looks and disarming smile, especially when his character is rambling on about the Smurfs of St. Olaf.

 The talented Grant Drager, who has made the oversexed persona of Blanche Devereaux the real star of this show, once again evokes laughter with his blunt observations and depraved behavior. Commanding the role with Rue McClanahan’s signature Southern drawl, pulsating hips and batting eyelids, Mr. Drager is, as always, a comedic confection. And Ryan Oates makes his portrayal of Sophia, Sicily’s first lady of icy sarcasm, all his own. Mr. Oates has Estelle Getty’s cutting retorts and salty attitude down pat, and his impersonation of Sophia is as flawless as a fine marinara sauce. 

Michael Rashid is ever as strong playing male lead and Rose’s loving paramour, Miles. He makes the most of his familiar comic role, employing his big smile and hearty laugh. As mentioned before, the magnificent Danne W. Taylor is back again as geriatric teen detective, Nancy Drew. As always, even in this cameo performance, Taylor is top drawer professional and as deadpan as always. And a new addition to the Handbag family is handsome Max McCune. He plays both seductive porn star Jazzy Jeff and steamy visiting handyman Chip, both with equal animal magnetism and sexual drive.  

Hallelujah! Handbag is thankfully back again and live on stage. Following his proven formula for fun, David Cerda’s Hell in a Handbag Productions continues their gayly grand parodies of “The Golden Girls.” It’s a popular series of burlesques that shows no sign of slowing down. In a wonderful way to celebrate the Autumn and the welcome return to live, legitimate theatre, Dorothy, Rose, Blanche and Sophia are all back in the lanai and waiting to say, “Thank You for Being a Friend.”

Recommended

Reviewed by Colin Douglas

Presented September 16-October 23 by Hell in a Handbag Productions at the Leather Archives & Museum, 6418 N Greenview Ave., Chicago.

Tickets are available at the door or online for those 18 and older at www.goldengirls5sex.eventbrite.com., which also includes a 30 day membership to the Leather Archives & Museum.

Additional information about this and other area productions can be found by visiting www.theatreinchicago.com.