You Take the Good, You Take the Bad

The Facts of Life – Hell in a Handbag

The magical Mr. Cerda has done it again! Finding a seemingly endless cache of farcical fodder amid the sitcoms and films of the 1970’s and 80’s, the masterful Artistic Director and creative wizard behind Hell in a Handbag Productions has hit upon a new source for his clever, campy parodies. In his clever  mashup of two very different sources, David Cerda has blended the 1973 made-for-TV horror film, “Satan’s School for Girls,” with “The Facts of Life,” the chirpy television sitcom about another girls’ school.

This musical Halloween spoof is as inventive as it is an homage to the stories it parodies. The satire is set at Eastland, the fictional girls boarding school from “The Facts of Life,” said to be located in remote Peekskill, New York. Returning from the beloved TV comedy are Mrs. Garrett, the series’ hovering housemother, along with her four special girls. They include the familiar teenagers Blair, Jo, Natalie and Tootie. But something’s not quite the same as it was when NBC ran this hit sitcom for nine successful seasons between 1979-1988. Could it be…oh, I don’t know…Satan?

Yes, it’s Satan, all right. Brimming with adult situations, lurid language, risque humor and double-entendres, Mr. Cerda has fashioned another hilarious script. He’s assisted by the talented Andrew Milliken with composing the music, a man who also serves at musical director and the accompanist for this production. Together they imagine that Mrs. Edna Garrett is not only the high priestess of this Mid-Atlantic Satanic cult, with her brainwashed seminary of worshipping adolescents, but that she’s actually married to the Prince of Darkness. In this laugh-filled, 90-minute Halloween musical mystery, as in the 70’s horror flick, “Satan’s School for Girls,” two undercover reporters infiltrate the all-girl boarding school. David Cerda plays Claudia, an ace newspaper investigator, whose younger sister Molly went missing while enrolled at Eastland. Claudia disguises herself as a “more mature” teenager, named Sissy. Morgan, Claudia’s reporting partner, poses as the school’s new cleaning lady, Eunice. Undercover, the two women think that they’ll have the run of the entire school and be able to sleuth out the mystery of Claudia’s missing sibling. 

As their investigation progresses, Claudia/Sissy and Morgan/Eunice learn that Molly is just one of dozens of girls who’ve disappeared in the darkness. The evidence points to Mrs. Garrett’s religion of devil-worshipping teenyboppers, and the two crack reporters are determined to expose the horrific headmistress, while also saving all the students who have been  innocently brainwashed to join the demonic cult. Where this story goes is both unexpected and extremely funny.

Skillfully directed by Madison Smith, this new production is the perfect Fall holiday entertainment for open-minded, liberal theatergoers, particularly Chicago’s LGBTQ audience. Known for her brilliant appearances in shows like “Evil Dead: the Musical” and “Poseidon! An Upside Down Musical,” the multitalented Stevie Love has guided this gifted cast in some vigorous choreography that complements the score and really shakes up Mary’s Attic. Gregory Graham and Keith Ryan bedeck the cast in period-appropriate costumes and outlandish wigs, and Sydney Genco lends her artistic creativity to the company’s makeup design. 

The brilliant cast is led by David Cerda, in the dual role of Claudia and the saucy Sissy. As always, Mr. Cerda steals most of  the show with his deadpan, deep-voiced line delivery and over-the-top characterization. Ever Hell in a Handbag’s divine diva, Mrs. Garrett is portrayed by the incomparable Ed Jones. Skillfully sounding and looking more like actress Charlotte Rae than can be imagined, Mr. Jones has done his homework. He’s got the signature, possessed grin, the halting vocal quality and late actress’ head-bobbing physical tic down perfectly. All of  Charlotte Rae’s recognizable gestures have been recreated, much to our delight. Together, as always, these two veteran Handbag actors are the best reasons for climbing the stairs up to Mary’s Attic.

But, as they say, wait! There’s more. A gifted young actor/singer/dancer we don’t see nearly enough, Graham Heacock returns to HIAH Productions to play sexy, blonde-tressed Blair. Prancing around in her school uniform and posing like a porn star, Graham boasts a resume that features everything from opera to musical comedy. His astounding performance in Theo Ubique’s “An Anthony Newley and Leslie Bricuse Songbook” earned him a well-deserved Jeff nomination. Mr. Heacock may also be remembered for his captivating performance in the titular role of Handbag’s “Rudolph the Red-Hosed Reindeer.”

Another terrifically talented actor, Alexa Castelvecchi is absolutely magnificent as Jo, the tomboy student from the inner city (read “Lesbian”). She’s also been enjoyed in several Handbag productions, and later will be touring as young Liza Minnelli in a special tribute show. Like Mr. Heacock, this triple-threat standout is a cast member in who brings polish and panache to every song and dance number, as well some spot-on delivery to the suggestive comic moments.

Talented and affable Brenna L. Watkins makes her welcome HIAH debut as the zoftig and jolly Natalie. Handbag favorite Robert Williams returns to play Tootie, while Marissa Williams is mirthful as Morgan/Eunice. A recent graduate of Columbia College, Katy Campbell makes a big splash in this production, skillfully playing no less than four different roles. And she does so with unbridled, contagious affection, sometimes creating a new character in only a few lines. As Molly, Sara, Cindy and Beverly (Mrs. Garrett’s sister). This is one accomplished actress we hope to see in many more future productions.

With no end in sight, the creatively unstoppable David Cerda continues to entertain Chicago audiences with his unconventional, often preposterous plays and musicals. This holiday installment is a gut-busting, inventive and provocatively racy musical parody that’s exactly what Windy City audiences have been craving. In his mashup of two deliciously camp television shows, Chef Cerda has cooked up a delectable  Halloween entertainment, filled with unexpected tricks, deliciously devilish treats, delightful musical ditties, joyous jack-o’-lanterns, haunted hilarity and more fun than toilet-papering your neighbor’s house.

Highly Recommended

Reviewed by Colin Douglas     

Presented October 4-November 2 by Hell in a Handbag at Mary’s Attic, 5400 N. Clark St., Chicago.

Tickets are available at the door, by calling or by going to www.handbagproductions.org.

Additional information about this and other area productions can be found by visiting www.theatreinchicago.com.