Virgins to the Rescue

Hot Pink, or Ready to Blow- New American Folk Theatre

 

Entering the intimate second floor theatre, the audiences will find themselves journeying back to America during the more innocent 1980’s. There, in the small fictional town of New Pompeii, a drama is unfolding. Coincidentally, like its ancient Greek namesake, an active volcano is rumbling, blustering and spewing smoke and ash. Three high school girlfriends are understandably worried as they anxiously wait to hear the name of the young virgin who will be sacrificed this year to satisfy the eruptive appetite of the Volcano God.

Commissioned by The Weird Sisters Theatre Project, an Atlanta company who’s mission is to provide more opportunities for women in the arts, Brooklyn-based Southern playwright Johnny Drago wrote this R-rated period parody, just for them. With nostalgia for cheesy 80’s teen films like “Sixteen Candles” and “The Breakfast Club,” Drago has fashioned a raunchy, ribald Molly Ringwald inspired comedy meshed with disaster films, like “Krakatoa, East of Java” or “St. Helens.”

Drago’s play is filled with stereotypes: there’s Cadence (the pretty one), Brichelle (the brainy one) and Tatanya (the rebel). In order to survive their life-threatening dilemma, the posse of best friends must also endure the machinations and advice offered by everyone around them. Cadence’s daddy, the Mayor, tries to convinces his little girl that she’s in no danger of becoming the next volcano sacrifice; but Bangs, the school outcast, who’s done everything and everyone in town, says the possibility is not only certain, but fast-approaching. She offers some pretty apparent advice to the girls. To avoid being chosen as the next sacrificed virgin, the solution is very simple: lose your virginity.

That answer seems so obvious to all, except the three girls. Everyone around them, it seems, is already an old pro with doing the nasty. In addition to Bangs’ questionable romantic conquests, the veterans of the sexual revolution include an obscene high school loser named Chadwick; a dorky girl in braids nicknamed Brace Face (because of the metal retainer she has to wear); Tatanya’s horny, liquor swilling Mother; Coach Dykeman, the school’s lesbian gym teacher; and every teenage martyr currently being tossed into the volcano, who apparently weren’t virgins after all.

The teen trio also discover that getting laid isn’t quite as easy as they thought. Cadence tries to seduce her longtime boyfriend, Bruce; but the handsome young man is far more interested in fashion, teen gossip and jazz hands than in Cadence. Tatanya strikes out with Duff McStraddlin, the Hair Metal Icon of all time, when she finds he’d rather make love to his drugs and a bottle of booze. When Brichelle attempts to lure her beloved math instructor into an arousing, extracurricular activity, Mr. Kowalczyk is so flummoxed that he experiences a premature solution to their equation. So it seems there’s nothing left for the three friends but to become the next virgin sacrifice. Or is there?

Derek Van Barham’s campy production is a whole lot of fun. It’s loud, vulgar and face-paced, with energetic performances by a fine, versatile cast. Lovely Charlie Irving is spot-on as Cadence; charming Janyce Caraballo is sweet and lovable as Brichelle; and Brittney Brown pulls out all the stops as the flippant and feisty Tatanya. Caitlin Jackson is brash and bodacious as bad girl, Bangs. Will Kazda is terrific as both bubbly Bruce and bitter Brace Face. Handsome Josh Kemper makes an artificially mannered Mayor, as well as a raunchy, risque Chadwick Throbhard. Playing Mr. Kowalczyk, the meek, mild mathematics teacher, Tommy Bullington is sweetly calculating, and his sadistic Lenny is a hoot. Kirk Jackson is truly believable as druggy Duff McStraddlin, Anthony Whitaker is appropriately sleazy as Mother and Elise Marie Davis is equally adept in her roles as a very funny News Reporter, tough phys ed teacher Coach Dykeman and a robotic Tour Guide from the future.

Van Barham’s assisted by Caitlin Jackson, with Jon Martinez’s MTV-inspired choreography making the 80’s come alive again.  Technical support is ably provided by Roger Wykes, with a scenic design that’s sparse, yet versatile and effective. G. “Max” Maxin IV designed the production’s lighting, with a musically nostalgic sound design by Kallie Rolison. And Costumes and wigs are a blast from the past via the fine handiwork of Carrie Campana and Keith Ryan.

Johnny Drago’s entertaining pop/camp comedy is risque, raunchy and anything but subtle. Derek Van Barham extracts topnotch performances from his talented cast that are a testament to this young director’s talent. The over-the-top, 90-minute live action comic strip will delight even the most jaded audience member, especially adult fans of all those John Hughes teenage angst movies and disaster films of the 80’s. Jazz hands ready? Set! Go!

Recommended

Reviewed by Colin Douglas

 

Presented March 10-April 7 by New American Folk Theatre at the Den Theatre, 1333 N. Milwaukee Ave., Chicago.

Tickets are available at the Den box office, by calling 773-697-3830 or by going to www.newamericanfolktheatre.org.

Additional information about this and other area productions can be found by visiting www.theatreinchicago.com.